dottiedotz

Dear baby,

Sometimes it feels like we’ve been waiting sooo long for you. Each time we know that no, this month is not the one that brings you into the world, we grieve. Sometimes circumstances, people and plans seem to work against us, and get us so frustrated, feeling discouraged and defeated. We ask, why do some people have it so ‘easy’? We worry about whether anything is wrong. We stress about trying not to be stressed.

Sometimes we ask God “Why do we have to go through such a long journey? Why must we wait so long?” Then we remember that we had to wait a pretty long time to meet each other too, and look how that turned out

Our friends keep telling us not to worry. “Don’t stress”.

Well-meaning people tell us to do this or that, and everything will work out fine. But at the end of the day, we know and we believe, only God brings new life into this world. Only He can do a miracle, because really, every little baby is a miracle. You will be one too.

I think of how God, who transcends time and space, already knows you. He knows the exact date of your birth, the colour of your hair, the light of your smile, the warmth of your laugh, how you will learn to walk, what you will love/hate to eat, when your first tooth will fall out, who you will be best friends with, who you will date, who you will marry, and much more.

Even right now, He could be preparing some other little baby or toddler somewhere else around the world to be your future mentor, your spouse, your tutor, your secret pal. Heh.

I cherish such thoughts. Because it reminds me that, even though I don’t get to see or feel or know you yet, He already does.

I can’t wait to welcome you into this world, and into our family.

But for now, I will be content to wait patiently for you, and to begin to love you even now, before you are conceived. To be thankful for the wonderful hubby and the home that I am blessed with. To hold on to the hope that one day, hopefully soon, I will get to see you face to face and watch you smile. To pray, that God will watch over you every single day of your life, and give us the grace and wisdom to bring you up well.

You are really special, you know that? We love you

love,

Mummy

Met up with my discipleship group girlies on Friday – a brief respite from their mugging for the ongoing exams. Heh. I had just come from a wedding, which explains the pretty pink dress

We tried these flavours:

Lychee martini
Honeyed figs
Peach
Strawberry Shortcake
Rum & Raisin
Butterscotch Pecan

I also had a spoon of Chilli Chocolate (I like! But the rest didn’t…)

Missed you Casie!!!

We had our second ‘young wives club’ gathering at Winnie’s place this morning.

Really like the home decor, and the way every room has a striking coloured wall that ‘pops’ out at you!! Heh.

It was a simple, relaxing time of catching up, eating fresh fruits and soon kueh (courtesy of Candy!) and house touring. I’m thankful for this bunch of friends… we might not be like super close or anything, but it’s good to share our lives and know we are not alone in this journey of learning to be ‘little women’.

It’s also very funny how we all look really young, and most people on the street wouldn’t think we are married!! =b Haha! Sometimes a boon, sometimes a bane…

I’ve been pretty quiet of late, not just because work has been busy, but Dottieshop too!!

Extremely thankful and excited by the orders I’ve received in the past 2 weeks. Night times have been fruitful sessions of much cutting and  ’scrapping’ for my customers, and it’s such a joy to behold the finished products!! Hee… Both Christmas stuff and wedding stuff!!

Most exciting of all is the fact that all this money will go to young children in need in other parts of the world. Initially, I felt disappointed that I had no business for a while. But now that customers are starting to appear, it’s very encouraging indeed, and I can only imagine how much difference every dollar will make in the life of one child whom I may never see.

His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches me…

If you’d like to make a child’s Christmas extra special, do drop by my shop for a look. You just might find something you’re looking for!

On Sunday night, I treated myself to an evening of curling up on the couch with my dinner bought from the kopitiam downstairs, and watching The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe on Channel 5. No checking of emails, no pasting of papers, no pottering around the house. Just complete nua-ness. Heh.

It’s not the first time I watched the show, but I must admit, I’m not a fast processor. Hee… It’s only this time around, which is my third time watching the movie that I could fully appreciate C S Lewis, and his ingenuity and skill in weaving the Christian perspective and story of love into fiction.

When Lucy told a story that no one believed, I empathized with her tremendously, because that’s sometimes how I feel.

When Edmund was overwhelmed with guilt at what he had done out of pure selfishness and pride, I could resonate with that.

When Aslan stood up for Edmund in the face of the Witch, and made a deal with her behind closed curtains, I remembered that true sacrifice does not shout it out from the mountain tops.

When he made his way to the altar to be sacrificed, and told the girls he had to go the rest of the journey alone, I wondered how Jesus felt on that long road to Calvary.

When he allowed himself to be mocked and cursed and tied up and stabbed, when he could have freed himself or killed those who hurt him at any time, I remembered that that is how much God loves me too. Love is not (always) about fighting for the one you love and making things happen. Sometimes it’s about choosing not to retaliate, or choosing to be quiet.

But love is also about protecting the one you love, and Aslan did that when he pounced upon the Witch (yes!)

Throughout all this, the four children had no clue of Aslan’s knowledge as to what his death would accomplish or why he did things the way he did, but at the end, they knew. Love, sometimes, is a mystery, even to the one who is loved.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

I’ve been quiet the past few days cos we’ve been at our annual Staff Summit, and internet connection was seriously wonky. =b But I’m glad to be home on my comfy couch, with my clothes spinning away in the laundry, the prospect of dressing up  tomorrow for a good friend’s wedding, and no mosquitoes.

I really enjoyed the personal times with a few ones, and the afternoon siesta on the first day (!!!), playing FoodRace at Parkway, hearing the (very) exciting plans for the next few years, and knitting up a storm each night before sleep.

The Summit was emotional in many ways, or maybe a better word is poignant? But I’m thankful to be part of this huge family that will always be a part of ME. I’ll be back to blogging in a couple days time.

Meanwhile, progress report on my scarf: 20%

I’ve undertaken a new personal project. To knit myself my very own woolly scarf!!

I was pleased as punch when I found a pair of knitting needles and the prettiest ball of sparkly pink-white wool at Daiso the other day. Almost immediately, I began casting my rows and knitting furiously away. Knitting is a great way to destress by the way – it’s therapeutic!

But anyway, trust me to forget that one ball of wool doth not maketh a scarf.

I went back to Daiso this morning, all ready to buy another 8 balls of pinky wool. And guess what?? That was the ONLY ball of pink wool!! The girl said that she didn’t know when stock would arrive.

Yes, I know I could go to other Daisos in Singapore to hunt for the illusive pink-white wool. But I really really want to have this scarf knitted in time for my Tokyo trip in Dec, and that won’t happen unless I start knitting right away and knit a bit every day… so… I settled for some pretty brown-white sparkly wool. Same type of wool – just brown instead of pink. So my scarf will be mostly brown, but with a thick pink stripe on one end.

I think it will still be pretty

Anyway, lesson learnt: Always buy many balls of wool if you’re planning to knit a scarf. Or a sweater. Or something more than a strip of wool.

Feels like the sands of my mood have shifted somewhat today. I feel more hopeful, more optimistic, more at peace. Not sure why…

It’s not that I’ve learnt anything new in the past few hours – although a lot of people have given me well-meaning advice and reminded me of time-tested truths, for which I am thankful.

I had a good time with God on Friday too, but again, there was no sudden epiphany or major revelation. Just a calming sense of peace.

I just feel uplifted in my soul, and … ok.

Must be all the prayers of my friends who have been encouraging me along the way, and the SMSed and tweeted hugs from various ones. Just knowing that, even though no one might be able to fully empathize, even though sometimes I know they still don’t quite understand, they CARE.

Thanks, you all…