dottiedotz

Didn’t have time to make pineapple tarts this year, but managed to find the time to make some other less time-consuming yummies for the home and parents.

But first, we discovered that Glory pineapple tarts are REALLY YUMMY! Bought two containers for ourselves, and already eaten one third of one!

Anyway back to Chow kitchen products, this year we made chocolate chip cookies and horlicks cookies! Thanks to the wonderful recipes on this site.

Glory Catering
139 East Coast Road Singapore 428829

On Wednesday I was pretty down in the dumps, cos of some (direct) input from my boss on things I need to do better or faster. After a lil toilet cry-time, I managed to get a grip on my emotions and think rationally about what she said, and understand the value of it. But it’s hard not to take things personally, cos I think I’m a person very used to getting encouragement and affirmation, that sorta thing. That was a difficult lesson.

I found myself waking up on Thursday (at 6am) with a heavy heart for the day ahead. But as I made my way to work, I had time to think and process things more, and decided “Hey, I’m not going to give up so easily! Sure, I’m not perfect, but I’m trying my best, and I’ll get better.”

I found myself grumbling inside about the pay and the fact that I have to work really hard and long hours for it. But then I had to stop myself and remember that it’s a choice I made, because I really am interested in the production, and I really do want to challenge myself to new frontiers. And also because the timing of getting this job was just so timely that it feels/felt like God had put this in my path for me to try, to make me stronger.

So I willed myself to stop whining and CHEER UP

And today was a good last day to the week. First, the morning’s school session went off pretty well, and I found myself having the space to even appreciate the play more, and not being overwhelmed with the details. Then, in the afternoon, the boss asked me to do some research for some copywriting that she needs urgently. And if I could finish it today, I could take tomorrow morning off (supposed to work Sat mornings).

So I CHIONGED the whole afternoon, and managed to finish the research by 7pm. This lovely colleague of mine was traveling to the east, so she very very kindly waited for me to finish, and gave me a lift to the east. So that was a very nice treat.

And to top it all off, my boss took a brief look at the research before she left, and said “Looks good, excellent work.” which totally lifted my spirits considerably.

I’m glad the week ended this way. Feeling more hopeful about the weeks to come…

First full day in the office. There are no bus stops near the office so it’s either walk from Somerset, Orchard or Newton. I wasn’t too sure of the Newton road, so I decided to get off at Orchard and go by Paragon side. It’s a 20 min walk…

It is HOT! =b

Second to reach the office, so I can do a quickie blog before too many arrive. I’m so thankful for the cool aircon and my tree-facing window. And some quiet moments to myself before the day begins.

Maybe tomorrow I will try the Newton route. Apparently, it’s about 5 min shorter.

I haven’t woken up before the crack of dawn for years. Even when Snooze went for our school gigs, it was once in a few months, and my darling hubby was able to wake up early too and send me to school for the 630am call times. But in my new job, the call time is 7am on most days, and it’s all over the island! I can’t afford to zip around in cabs, so I’ve been waking up at 5am in order to get to the schools on time.

Tomorrow is the third day in a row of waking up at 5, way before the sky is light.

It’s difficult to get out of bed in the morning for sure, and it’s no fun standing on the bus and mrt (yes, even at 6am!) to get to where I need to be… but something that’s nice about this new schedule of mine is the chance to see the sky slowly lighten as night turns to dawn, and dawn turns to morning. So far haven’t caught a proper sunrise yet, but I hope I will one of these days.

It’s also a nice one hour of solitude – just me and my thoughts – on the way to the rest of the day. I haven’t had time to do proper QT every morning – something I have yet to figure out – but what I enjoy is the real Quiet Time I have to talk to God and myself on the long journey cross-island, and to meditate upon verses He brings to mind. It calms me and gives me perspective as I get into the harriedness of each morning of scurrying around, remembering lists and cueing people.

So I’ve discovered that these early morning rides are very much to be treasured and savoured. Definitely I don’t see this as a way of life (my poor hubby is a light sleeper and can’t helping waking up when I get up for one, and I don’t have this amount of energy in the long term), but I’m happy that I have found a new way to spend time with God during this season.

I’ve also discovered that my colleagues are really nice people Ok maybe I’m idealistic and not the most street-wise person, but I think most of them that I’ve talked to are genuinely nice and friendly, once you start talking to them. Of course there are certain mannerisms that ’scare’ me slightly, but I’m slowly learning to take it in my stride. The occasional toilet cry does wonders, and so does ice cream from down the road…

Today I was really struck by the message in church about service and servanthood. One key sentence that helped me gain a new perspective into true servanthood: Choosing to serve and choosing to be servant are not the same things.

Choosing to serve is putting the ball in our court. It might seem very virtuous and spiritual, but at the heart of it, it is boiling things down to ‘what I choose’, and not ‘whatever God wants’. It is the posture of assuming that I have the right to choose what I will or will not do, can or cannot do. It is serving only in the area of my strength or to gain meaning and purpose from my service. Ultimately, it is serving myself.

However, choosing to BE a servant is the essence of true servanthood. It’s saying “God, you choose, I’ll follow”. It is the posture of letting God decide for us how I will serve and when. It means being willing to obey Him, even if it means doing things that are not my strength or do not give me great purpose and meaning.

Of course God gives us strengths and talents that we should be good stewards of. And we should be aware of our areas of weaknesses and inadequacies as we grow and mature. But sometimes, I know I am guilty of using my self awareness of my strengths/weaknesses as the ONLY gauge of whether or not I should serve in this role or not, take up this challenge or not, or even whether I should step out of something I am good in. I guess it’s largely due to my (our) innate desire to succeed and do the task well, or to feel like I(we) get something out of it – satisfaction, recognition, or just a sense of meaning.

True servanthood doesn’t mean doing anything and everything, however. It’s a constant balance between service and solitude, and both are equally necessary. Something good for me to remember as I step into a new arena tomorrow, because service isn’t just in the church – it’s everywhere and to everyone. And solitude is not just when I’m alone at home, but can be simply sitting in His presence on a crowded bus.

Found out about the Red Box Project yesterday, and really wish I had known sooner! But glad I had a wee bit of time today to assemble a box of our own, to be given to a little girl aged 5-7.

In our box: a teddy bear, a pink pencil, a pink pen with a little bell, a kaleidoscope, a colourful tambourine, a pink pouch with 6 rose hair pins in it, a pink hankerchief and a hand-made beaded tiara (which the FR gang actually gave me when I graduated from staff training). Felt a bit unsure about giving the tiara away, but I’ve been so blessed by it already, and it’s time to make a little girl happy!!

The project organizers are currently looking for volunteers to help distribute the boxes to needy families over next weekend, so do sign up to help if you’re interested!

In the space of the past three days, I’ve had my first two interviews, and two job offers! Really, I am thankful for His providence and guidance, and for assuring me that He is with me through all the stressful, tiring (early mornings) and anxious moments. Still, the decisions haven’t been easy decisions, but I believe that these opportunities are really by His grace, and I will gain much from the experience of different environments.

So. Come Monday morning, I’ll be making my way to Cairnhill Arts Centre for my first day of work! It’s also the day of my farewell lunch (sob sob) so I’m glad the boss is giving me time off for that! I’m very excited, nervous, scared and hopeful, all at the same time. Feel like a bag of emotions and raw nerves… but at the base of it all is a deep gratitude that He has brought me thus far – emotionally and socially especially, and that I can trust Him to continue to walk with me every step of this (new) path.

I’m super sad, of course, to be leaving this dear family in Crusade, and especially in ForeRunner, but I believe that this is all just part of life – saying goodbyes. And a necessary step for growth and to pursue the dreams He has placed in my heart. Still, going to cry buckets somewhere, sometime… maybe many times… haiz

Recently I bought a book called “Becoming the Beloved” by Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest. I’m two chapters into this 5 chapter book at the moment, and it’s been a good journey of realizing my worth and value to God, and the truth about how He views me.

It’s been a very timely read, as the past week has been a series of fast-paced events and decisions to be made, and my mind has been whirling non-stop. Amidst the flurry of thoughts are a fair amount of self-rejection-ish sentiments, such as “I’m not as witty as so-and-so” or “Why didn’t I think of that?!?!” or “Oh no, that was naive of me.” And it’s very easy to get depressed thinking about some of it.

Mr Nouwen reminds me that I AM loved by God, not based on anything I can do or can’t do, or should do or shouldn’t do – everlasting love.

Over the years, I (Mr Nouwen) have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved”. Being the Beloved is the core truth of our existence.

From all eternity, long before you were born and became a part of history, you existed in God’s heart. The eyes of love had seen you as precious, as of infinite beauty, as of eternal value. God’s love is not exclusive to you – it includes everyone. Once we deeply trust that we ourselves are precious in God’s eyes, we can experience this all-embracing, non-comparing love and feel safe; we are able to recognize the preciousness of others and their unique places in God’s heart.

– Henri Nouwen

Juggling 8 adults and 1 kid’s schedules and preferences ain’t easy… I didn’t think it would be too hard, but it’s turning out to be quite a responsibility, and hotel rooms are running out fast!! Must stay calm and composed, and keep on looking for what fits most the best, and believing that in the end, everything will work out fine…

That said, I’m pretty excited too, cos it’s been years (maybe over a decade?) since I’ve been on any family holiday. And this will be my first family holiday with a small kid (my nephew), and with my in-laws, AND to kyoto! So… mixture of frustration and excitement, fear and anticipation…

Spent  a happy few hours this afternoon working on an ang pow for Dottieshop customer and friend Joc. Rather pleased with the finished result! The radiant and joyful bride to be requested for jewel tones, which is a really cool colour theme to have for a wedding, I must say!

Shhh… but I can’t put the pic up yet! :b The wedding’s not till March, so watch out for pics then!